Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
