We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
