is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
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