Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
