what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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