Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
