We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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