Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
