Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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