the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
