i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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