sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
