we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
