we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
be right there i have to get my cape
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
