I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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