conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
My pussy is not your playground.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
