wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
