i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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