He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
