Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
