he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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