You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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