I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
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