he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
