therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize