i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
