and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
