I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
These tits shall not be calmed
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
