My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
