things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
