But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
