So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
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