i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
