Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
