Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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