am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i can't believe i had my finger in that
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
