Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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