You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
