Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Randomize
