you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
