he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
