honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
