Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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