i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
