Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
