Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
