I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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