i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I need to calm my uterus...
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize