Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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