My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
