Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Randomize
