My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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