it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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