It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
