Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
