we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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