fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Randomize
