Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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