I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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