the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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